托福作文求高手指教

[求托福高分作文或范文要有点评]下面给出按各评分标准的范文，仅供参考。题目：Some intensive English programs in the United States offer a foreign student the option of living with an American fami...+阅读

How to Make My Hometown More Appealing to People of My Age（注意of） My hometown is a beautiful city with comparably(comparatively) advanced economy and well-developed living environment. But there is still something that could be improved to make it more appealing to youngsters (of) my age-around 20 What is more attractive for the young may not be carnies or pleasure grounds but galleries, exhibitions and various museums on arts, history, science and technology, and nature. However, most tickets of these places in my city are unfortunately expensive, making it impossible to visit frequently. Moreover, many facilities and exhibits are not kept in good condition, and some are too out-of-date, which have (made it) lose appeal to modern people. If my hometown could lower the ticket price or just make it free for the young, we would have numerous places to spend our leisure time in while learning a lot. And if those old museums could be renewed and expanded, they would get much more visitors and attention. Another recreational activity (popular放在这里比较连贯) amongst the young is (doing去掉) sports. Many girls and boys (of) my age like exercising a lot. But there is a lack of gyms and facilities in my city. Most good gyms belong to schools and are occupied by students and athletic teams. During vocations they are not open , which makes us have difficulty in finding a place to exercise with most free grounds (being可以去掉) in poor condition. If our city could build more gyms and construct better facilities, it would not only benefit us but also contribute to the health of all citizens, because it makes people easier and more willing to do exercises and keep fit. Since many people (of) my age are students, the scarcity of libraries is very severe in my hometown. With most good and big libraries being in suburban areas and urban libraries being in poor condition, it is quite inconvenient for us to borrow books and search for academic references. If my hometown could rebuild those old ones or improve the transportation system providing an easier 改的主要是些语法上的问题最后一句没写完楼主请根据自己的意思补充吧