英文简历中不能说的话

[如何用一流的简历包装自己]告别校园，步入社会，展开人生新的一页。虽然很多人对自己的才能充满信心，但面对平生头一遭的求职与面试还是免不了心慌意乱。其实，只要学会包装自己，利用专业干练的外表来“造势”...+阅读

致命的大错： Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10. Qualifications: No education or experience. I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy. My pensation should be at least equal to my age. Reason for Leing: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC. Fired because I fought for lower pay. Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5 Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date. Reason for Leing: My boss said the end of the world is near. Reason for Leing: The owner ge new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately. 打字错误与语法错误： Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining poser. I am a rabid typist. Work History: Performed brain we tests,1879-1981. After receiving advice from several different angels, I he decided to pursue a new line of work. Accounting cleric.

As indicted, I he over five years of experience analyzing investments. Suspected to graduate early next year. Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets. Proven ability to track down and correct erors. Acplishments: Oversight of entire department. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever fet details. Acplishments: pleted 11 years of high school. 不应有的幽默： Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house. Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.) But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature. I he an excellent track record, although I am not a horse. My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your pany in particular. Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series. Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it. Trustworthy references ailable upon request-if I give them a few bucks. Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience.