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英文简历中的致命错误

11月02日 编辑 fanwen51.com

[经理秘书英文简历表格]很多求职者在编辑个人简历时对求职意向都没有一个清晰的认识,或者说在编辑个人简历是对求职意向都没有一个明确的目标。因为以上原因导致很多求职者在编辑个人简历时都会特别...+阅读

致命的大错

Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.

Qualifications: No education or experience.

I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.

My pensation should be at least equal to my age.

Reason for Leing: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.

Fired because I fought for lower pay.

Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 .

Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.

Reason for Leing: My boss said the end of the world is near.

Reason for Leing: The owner ge new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

打字错误与语法错误

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining poser.

I am a rabid typist.

Work History: Performed brain we tests,1879-1981.

After receiving advice from several different angels, I he decided to

pursue a new line of work.

Accounting cleric.

As indicted, I he over five years of experience analyzing investments.

Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing invest

ments.

Suspected to graduate early next year.

Disposed of  2.5 billion in assets.

Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

Acplishments: Oversight of entire department.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever fet details.

Acplishments: pleted 11 years of high school.

不应有的幽默

Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.

Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.)

But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.

I he an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your pany in particular.

Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.

Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.

Trustworthy references ailable upon request-if I give them a few bucks.

Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.英文简历中的致命错误

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