范文无忧网面试笔试面试回答

英文求职简历中不该出现的话

11月07日 编辑 fanwen51.com

[网页设计毕业生英文自我介绍]网页设计专业的大学生,如何毕业后进入外企工作的话,那么,在面试时,就要进行一个英文自我介绍,下面就一起来为大家提供一篇英文自我介绍范文,供参考: Pesonel statement(introductio...+阅读

致命的大错

Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.

Qualifications: No education or experience.

I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.

My pensation should be at least equal to my age.

Reason for Leing: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.

Fired because I fought for lower pay.

Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5 .

Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.

Reason for Leing: My boss said the end of the world is near.

Reason for Leing: The owner ge new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.

打字错误与语法错误

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining poser.

I am a rabid typist.

Work History: Performed brain we tests,1879-1981.

After receiving advice from several different angels, I he decided to pursue a new line of work.

Accounting cleric.

As indicted, I he over five years of experience analyzing investments.

Suspected to gradu

ate early next year.

Disposed of  2.5 billion in assets.

Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

Acplishments: Oversight of entire department.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever fet details.

Acplishments: pleted 11 years of high school.

不应有的幽默

Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.

Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.)

But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.

I he an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your pany in particular.

Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series.

Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.

Trustworthy references ailable upon request-if I give them a few bucks.

Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience.

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