求一些英文幽默句子越多越好

[求一个主题班会的题目越新颖越好]题目：或者《和谐校园》一个充满幸福和谐的校园，离不开浓郁的书香气。著名学者朱永新这样谈读书：“在一定意义上说，一个人的精神发育史就是一个人的阅读史，而一个民族的精神发育...+阅读

One should love anim als. They are so tasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人；每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.

后排座位上的小孩会发生意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.

“现在的梦想决定着你的将来，”所以还是再睡一会吧。

Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk＂

“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

上帝决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给你留了余地。

The more you learn,the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?

学的越多，知道的越多；知道的越多，忘记的越多；忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

＂Work fascinates me.＂ I can look at it for hours! ＂

“工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看着别人工作

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard Visa.

钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。

Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.

要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.

聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。