帮忙批改下雅思大作文吧感谢！

[求雅思作文批改顺便估下分万分感谢]As the cyber techniques continue to develop and the user number of computers, mobile phones and other communicating devices continue to grow, some people believ...+阅读

帮忙批改下雅思大作文吧感谢！

The essay was well written. It could be judged as a piece of extraordinary work if it was done within the given time that normally set in the examination. Mark 5.5~6.0However, it could be better:1. It is better to use 'Many people show concern about the education emphasis of university.....' instead of 'are discussing....'2. It is better to say 'education focus' instead of 'university education' as it always involve 'theoritical part' and 'practical part';3. 'Based on my experience, I want to emphasize' is too sujective, better using 'in my opinion,...4. 'in spite of each of them has its own sake on building one'sknowledge system' can be better expressed. It is not very clear;5. 'just let students make their own decisions' is not a good idea;6.'plan to get a work' better to use 'plan to work'7. 'after graduating from' better to use 'after their graduation from'8.'will be the first choice,since a large....' better to use'will be the first choice as a large......'9. 'Referring from some surveys' better to use 'some surveys show...',;10.' have better performance... comparing with those who...' better to use ' have better performance... than those who...' 11.'for the same length of years.' better to use 'for the same period'12.'provided their competitors...' better to use ' as their competitors...'13 'students who want to continue their studying career and do more academic researches'better to use 'students who want to develop an academic career'14.'universally tend to acquire...' better to use ' usually expect to learn...' 15. 'or they will be...' better to use 'otherwise they will be...'16. ' Accordingly, practical skills are inevitable to a theorist as well as a worker.' is a sudden change in meaning. it is not closely linked with the previous sentences, so it should be rewritten or deleted.17. 'As a whole' it is better to use 'In summary';18. 'we can see that' it is better to use 'it is clear that...'19. 'it's time to adjusting...' 'it is time to adjust the education strategy and turn it to a more reasonable system';20.' into three semesters, including two theoretical semesters and a practical one'' into three semesters, of which two theoretical semesters and one practical'21'good model ' 'a good model'

雅思作文急急

Charity, Without National Boundaries!

As is known to us,the world doesn't develop in a balanced way.While many people in the developed countries enjoy their happy life,there are still a lot of people who suffer from hunger and disease throughout the world,esepcially in Africa.Thanks to the bad economy of their countries,they live a miserable life,without food or clothes.Some even die of hunger and frigidity.It's reported that more than seventeen thousand people die of hunger and the diseases related to hunger everyday.What a horrible number!To our delight,charity,an aid to those people has been set up.

Charity organizations,whose common aim is to help the people in great need,have been set up these years.And they have played an very important part in the cause of the world's aid and humanity.Hower,some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country.They think the help from the charity organizations is limited,so the charity organizations can't give help to the people from another country.But some other people believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live,which is also my point of view.In my humble opinion,charity,which is based on humanity,should not stopped by the national boundaries.They should help whoever in need in spite of their different colours.

慈善是人世间最伟大的事业！慈善无国界！

雅思写作如何出好文章

四、构思、写作不统一，落实有困难实事求是的讲，要求考生完全运用英语思维来写作文是不现实的。很多考生在实际写作过程中，脑子里想的是中文句子，然后再把中文句子译成英文。因此采用“得其意，忘其形”的方法，忘掉中文的语法结构，句法形式则可能要整个地打乱。，“钻进去，跳出来”。所谓“钻进去”就是要看意思是否到位了，“跳出来”就是要忘记中文的语言形式。实际上把英文译成中文，关键是要在转换中把意思表达出来。针对构思、写作不统一，落实有困难情况。必须摒弃翻译中追求一一对应的关系，并机械地把中文译成英文的方法，应该把中文句子结构彻底地忘记，然后用比较简单的“万能”英语表达。平时不妨做一做这样的练习，通过阅读不认识词条的英文注解，然后试着把单词译成中文词，再去对照英汉词典的汉语释义，慢慢地就会开始领会用英语表达的门道了。

五、被动心态压抑新构思尽管雅思考试作文为规定式命题，但考生仍可积极主动地发挥。其主动性在于采取回避的策略，表达上采取迂回的方式，即运用不很复杂的语言。内容的取舍上避重就轻地写比较易于表达的内容。很多人在写作过程中从头至尾都处于被动状态，当有内容想要表达清楚的时候，却又发现种种途径都不可能表达好，只好硬着头皮把自己意识到没把握的东西勉强写上去。连自己都意识到可能是错误的东西，只会产生于己不利的负面影响。所以，当有的内容感觉一点找不着，英语实在表达不清楚的时候，就应该彻底地放弃。单词拼写错误也是雅思考试作文写作的一大问题。常用单词是不能拼错的，有的单词平时会拼写，考试时突然没把握了，不妨换一下或许还能想起另外一个难度大一点、拼写有把握的来代替。

应该回避明确知道自己不会拼写的词。如果没法换一个词，将句子改换一种说法亦未尝不可。有的考生在考卷上没把握的地方标上问号，或者把两种可能都写上，让判卷老师选择，这个方法是不可取的。总之，不能让自己陷人被动，想说什么，用什么方式说。说多少，说到什么程度。一切都应由考生主动把握，这样才会减少心理上的压力，更好地发挥出自己应有的写作水平。

雅思写作题目

写作是中国雅思考生最头疼的一个考试项目。来自世纪雅思的权威老师将解开写作之小作文的迷惑。那么怎样才能在20分钟不到的时间里，写出一篇不低于6分的考试作文呢？

步骤一：审题，找出题目的要求，从而完成评分描述“TaskAchievement” 第一条 therequirements of the task (<2分钟)

具体来看：阅读文字部分shows后面信息，找出题目的topic, time,place。阅读图表的标题、横轴与纵轴的文字信息，尤其注意纵轴单位、图标内的对象所包含的文字信息。

步骤二：观察数据，找出主要特征和能证明这些特征的关键点。（<3分钟）表格题和柱状图这些多数据的图表出现频率相当高，如何根据数据的异同来对繁多的数据进行有效分类，并归纳出每一类别的共性，成了当前评判作文能否在“TaskAchievement”进入6分的标准。

步骤三：文章撰写（15分钟左右）当前小作文的写作常用大纲：题目改写（引出topic），对象分类（表明写作思路）；重申主要特征：或指出某个未提及的特点。

步骤四：检查（1分钟）

此时，不宜做大的修改，把笔误的部分改掉即可。一般语言水平在大学四级左右的考生，根据本文的步骤，重点关注第一第二步，必能在考试中取得至少6分的佳绩