求婚礼致辞用英文的不要用翻译软件

[请教各位一下急求英文法律格言可以告诉我下吗]a sage punishes not because a crime has been committed, but rather to prevent its being committed;because the past cannot be revoked, but the future is being fo...+阅读

Ladies andgentlemen! I amvery happy to talk on this stage for these people, XXX and XXX!I wish them ahappy life in their future with cheerful kids and enough money!I am glad forthem to marry! I wanted them to be the best family in the world! I have finished my talk！这样说的话会有一点太普通了。 Ladies and gentlemen, Today, we shall celebrate the wedding of thetwo people, XXX and XXX.AsI know, they are wealthy so I will take over all their money when they die!HAHAHA! I wish that they won't spend a single penny in their lives so I willtake all of it! HAHAHA！所以说的话会被骂的。

Females and males, Today, we shall celebrate the wedding of thetwo people, XXX and XXX.Sorrybut the oxygen today may contain more carbon dioxide because I am moving my 72muscles to say this and breathing in mostly oxygen and carbon dioxide to letthem go into my lungs. Oh, my heart is beating now, bringing the blood aroundthe body to the lungs and I am creating carbon dioxide, sorry. The water that thebride and the bridegroom will drink contains 99.99999% dihydrogen monoxide hoaxand the 0.00001% might be dangerous liquids such as chlorine trifluoride or candidateor nitrogen tetroxide or sarin or digoxin or hydrogen peroxide or ethyleneglycol or nicotine or strychnine or tabun or tetrachlorodibenzo-p-dioxin or VXor batrachotoxin. But the possibility of those liquids being in the drink isvery less so don't worry. Good bye and sorry for all the carbon dioxideI created.这样说的话会被吓到的。

里面有关于危险液体，人体呼吸和心脏。 Ladies and gentlemen! Today, let's forget everything and party thebest we can! I will be a cow and you are a sheep! The bride will be a chickenand the bridegroom will be a horse! Oh yeah, I will want to drink even though Iam not yet 18! We shall party as if it is the only thing we can do! Oh yeah! Thank you! Go, go, party！！所以说会被以为成淘气包。 Ladies and gentlemen, I don't even want to be on here! My parentsforced me to! This is just so boring! I wish that time will pass two times asquickly! Oh, why am I still talking? This is just boring! Why do I have to dothis silly job? This is just so retarded. Oh, finally, I'm leaving. Bye.这样说的话会被骂的。

-------------------------------------------------重点------------------------------------------------------ 没有北美洲或欧洲或澳大利亚的说英语的口音就最好不要说英语了。对不起但是...是中国或韩国或日本的说英语的口音就千千万万不要说！！！！对不起但是...如果你是的话那么...说了的话那么...对不起但是...我会吐的。真的很难听！不如说中文那！千千万万不要不要不要不要不要说~~~~~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 自己是听过好多遍的，真的好难听。

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 哈哈，多嘴了，对不对？对不起啦~我是为你好才这样的。xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 哦，还有，关于口音的事，如果你不是从小听英语都是外国人说的，那么你是不可能练出口音的。还有，如果真的想练（你是练不出来的！）那么不要事英国口音。

我是英音的，苏格兰。说英语时，美国口音的人听不清，只有英国人才听的清楚所以就更不要说中国人了。呵呵。